The Knife

I remember that wretched night
When in darkness, bitterly, I cried
& at my despair, my demons smiled
That helpless night…. I had a knife.

I questioned my existence’s purpose
As I felt like a hopeless clown in a circus.
Corrupted by the problems of my life
That helpless night…. I had a knife.

With tears streaming from my eyes
On my nerve, I placed the knife.
Like a bee yearns nectar, from a bud
The knife yearned the taste of my blood.

I had a dark desire to use the knife
But flashed before me my mother’s eyes.
I slowly realized, my life could impact other lives
& this decimated the seduction of the knife.

I understood the value of my life
As amidst the pain, I learnt to smile.
For others, I decided to rise
That night….. I threw away the knife.

Note: From the depths of darkness & depression, our life gets plagued by negative thoughts. I admit I too had suicidal thoughts few years ago. So this poem is a slight peek into my past & also hopes to serve as a message to anyone who might be going through a similar traumatic struggle. To me every life counts, no matter how depressing the situation might be always remember that your mere existence is the reason as to why someone smiles. So why indulge in an act that replaces, that “someone’s” smile with tears of despair? The knife in this poem is not just an entity but the very embodiment of suicidal thoughts that corrupt & stab the very soul of a depressed person. I urge all my readers to be understanding & compassionate towards the troubles that anyone around them faces. Please show the troubled souls that you care, so that none ever picks up a knife due to depression & helplessness.

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