Behind the comfort of my locked door
Tonight, your memory sparkles in my tears.
The agony of your absence, I can’t handle anymore
As I helplessly drown in my fears.
None of your haunting horrors, you had revealed
None of your nightmares, you shared.
Behind fake smiles, countless tears were concealed
Perhaps as you felt no one truly cared.
You quietly suffered maintaining your composure
& often walked alone, the depressing long mile.
I wish… I could’ve taken the load off your shoulder
& walked with you, to hopefully see you smile.
You selflessly sacrificed yourself in life’s battlefield
As you protected me from every sadness.
I wish… I could’ve been your shield
That saved you from all that madness.
Fangs of regret now pierce my neck
As vividly the visions appear of that depressing day
Vulnerably, I shrink like an emotional wreck
Recalling these words to you, that I couldn’t say.
I try to help others, believe me, dad I try
& I think of you, whenever my heart cries.
But I’ve immortalized you in my soul’s inward eye
So carrying your legacy, like a phoenix, now I rise.
Beyond the tangents of time & space
Someday, somewhere, I shall meet you.
I wish… to wipe your tears from your face
As together we’ll smile, while life shall blossom anew.
Notepad: As a child, when I was sitting on my dad’s back I truly felt like the king of the world & that nothing could ever harm me. Such was the charisma of my dad, he didn’t give dreamy illusions; instead, with his limited resources he quietly was the architect of my dreams. Despite our financial crisis, he ensured that there wasn’t a single thing on which I felt deprived of. He was not just my dad, he was my guardian angel. Almost 6 years ago he was terminally ill with lung cancer, seeing him vomit blood on his death-bed made me feel helpless. I wish… I could have done more to save my guardian angel. It’s this regret, that’s like a tormenting trauma that always dwells within me. Yet carrying on with his legacy, I try to help others around me, in whatever way I possibly can. I try to be a guardian angel for others, with the intent that perhaps someday if I ever meet him he’ll see me more than just a man whose hollowed by his regret & his emotional trauma. I’m not perfect like you, but I try to make you proud & smile. Happy Birthday, Dad! With every heartbeat I miss you.
If you liked this post, then I humbly request you to like, comment & follow my blog. 🙂
You may connect with me on Instagram: gentleman.is.quiet
because every individual is a bundle of stories & I’d like to know you better. 🙂