I Wish…

Behind the comfort of my locked door
Tonight, your memory sparkles in my tears.
The agony of your absence, I can’t handle anymore
As I helplessly drown in my fears.

None of your haunting horrors, you had revealed
None of your nightmares, you shared.
Behind fake smiles, countless tears were concealed
Perhaps as you felt no one truly cared.

You quietly suffered maintaining your composure
& often walked alone, the depressing long mile.
I wish… I could’ve taken the load off your shoulder
& walked with you, to hopefully see you smile.

You selflessly sacrificed yourself in life’s battlefield
As you protected me from every sadness.
I wish… I could’ve been your shield
That saved you from all that madness.

Fangs of regret now pierce my neck
As vividly the visions appear of that depressing day
Vulnerably, I shrink like an emotional wreck
Recalling these words to you, that I couldn’t say.

I try to help others, believe me, dad I try
& I think of you, whenever my heart cries.
But I’ve immortalized you in my soul’s inward eye
So carrying your legacy, like a phoenix, now I rise.

Beyond the tangents of time & space
Someday, somewhere, I shall meet you.
I wish… to wipe your tears from your face
As together we’ll smile, while life shall blossom anew.

Scan

Notepad: As a child, when I was sitting on my dad’s back I truly felt like the king of the world & that nothing could ever harm me. Such was the charisma of my dad, he didn’t give dreamy illusions; instead, with his limited resources he quietly was the architect of my dreams. Despite our financial crisis, he ensured that there wasn’t a single thing on which I felt deprived of. He was not just my dad, he was my guardian angel. Almost 6 years ago he was terminally ill with lung cancer, seeing him vomit blood on his death-bed made me feel helpless. I wish… I could have done more to save my guardian angel. It’s this regret, that’s like a tormenting trauma that always dwells within me. Yet carrying on with his legacy, I try to help others around me, in whatever way I possibly can. I try to be a guardian angel for others, with the intent that perhaps someday if I ever meet him he’ll see me more than just a man whose hollowed by his regret & his emotional trauma. I’m not perfect like you, but I try to make you proud & smile. Happy Birthday, Dad! With every heartbeat I miss you.Β 

If you liked this post, then I humbly request you to like, comment & follow my blog. πŸ™‚

You may connect with me on Instagram: gentleman.is.quiet

because every individual is a bundle of stories & I’d like to know you better. πŸ™‚

80 thoughts on “I Wish…

  1. This is such a great post.

    However, you don’t need to regret about anything. You did your best for your dad and I’m sure he’s smiling at you from above. He taught you those lessons, he was your guardian angel so that you will also impact peoples lives like he did to yours.

    You’ve been impacting peoples lives already and he’s happy with you.

    I know it painful seeing your guardian angel in such pain before his death, but it’s your work however to make that pain your dad had for you, to count.

    You must help people also. Like your dad did to you.

    He has set you on the right path. It’s up to you to use your passions and potentials to make it to the finish line and finally reach your destination ❀️

    Your smile is your dad’s inspiration 😊❀️

    I’m always here for you. Your dad is always here for you. ❀️

    Liked by 4 people

  2. This poetry of yours really hit the spot for me and brought me right back to my old days with my dad carrying me on his shoulder and bringing me up with so much of love even with the financial issues we had. I gotta admit, this really made me tear even thinking of how my father passed. I can remember that day so clearly like it was yesterday. We need to remember That both our fathers are angels in way higher realms. Sending you Much light and love,

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I found the poem so beautiful and then I was brought to tears by your note at the end. I believe you make your father very proud. Re-reading the poem a second time knowing what you went through had even more of an impact. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I truly believe your words bring pride to your father that you’re his son.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for going through my note and trying to share my grief. I’m really grateful to you readership and the emotional support that you lent in. πŸ™πŸ˜Š

      Like

  4. The words you used and the way you expressed how he did his best for you, he will be very proud of you…May Allah give you the patience to live this life and guide you more to guide others as your father did. Your mother is another guardian in your life. Stay with her and make beautiful memories in her presence, and be positive always. 🌸🌸

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I am proud to have you my brother in my life… you are my angel…
    I never had my dad lift me up on his shoulders as he was never there for me. We went through a very bad financial crisis from my childhood and i remember my mom and dad fasting so as to feed me and my brother. He used to work day and night to make ends meet. Today when I see him relaxing, I feel elated that he is happy in his later life.
    But Sidharth, I tell you, Dad’s are dad’s. He still does not ask for anything nor demand anything. He lives frugally. Just 3 pairs of clothes even today. He works at the age of 75 and sometimes I feel he has more energy than me.
    He is my angel.
    Thank you for bringing back my memories.
    And one thing i know He is smiling upon you from wherever He is…
    I read the poem twice and am writing this message with tears in my eyes…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. In a way our fathers are quite alike. My father too used to skip meals to feed me and he worked till his last days. He too just had like 4 pair of clothes. Give my regards to your father. Thank you for your readership and support!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This indeed made me come to tears. Although I’m sure he would be looking at you with much pride and there’s nothing more you could’ve done. Dads are indeed the superheroes without capes and this made me realize how lucky I’m to be in his guidance. Lots of love

    Liked by 3 people

  7. You have immortalised your dad through your poems.. that itself will make his spirit beam with pride. You’ve had an amazing dad.. may his blessings always be with you! Lots of love ❀️❀️
    Sonia

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sidharth my dear friend, so touched was I by your incredibly beautiful and loving words written in your tribute to your father. You captured your sadness at the tragic loss but the love was the overwhelming feeling I felt all day from your powerful words. The picture of you and your father was so precious and dear. Thank you for sharing something so difficult and beautifully honest with your readers. With love and much caring from your friend, Joni.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so welcome dear friend. You are in my prayers Sidharth. You have a gentle heart I love that about you. Things are finally slowing down for me. I am done working with my daughter and so not as busy. I hope and pray you are staying safe and careful to remain healthy. Love to you my friend. πŸ’•β€οΈπŸ™ Joni. You really are an amazing writer Sidharth.

        Like

  9. Hey Sid,
    This poem touches ones inner soul. Each and every word reflects the pain inside you. After a long while, I met someone who like me, likes the rhyming effect a poem gives. It is wonderful to meet someone who is in love with poetries for the sheer mesmerizing effect of a poem. It is an honor to meet you Sid, even though it took Queenie to introduce you to me. Looking forward to more and more magic weaves in your renditions.
    Anamika

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Anamika, thank you for your readership. I’m delighted to meet someone who equally appreciates rhymes. Yes, Queenie talked a bit about you. Feel free to connect with me on insta in case you want to work on a new blog with us. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Really appreciate the invite. I have answered Queenie’s mail extending my support. It was very painful to know that Pencliff was pulled down without any prior intimation to the co-authors. Thank you again for the honours. I will not be able to connect over insta as I don’t have any insta account nor an fb account. Let’s say I am not much of a social platform person. I only exist in Wp, that too for the love of my writing. But do feel free to connect over the mail for further correspondence about the new venture.
    Keep Blogging and definitely keep penning more poems.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes what happened at Pencliff was disappointing! We can’t control such situations but we can respond in a positive way by creating a world of our own. Looking forward towards working on a new blog. πŸ™‚πŸ™

      Like

  11. This is beautiful and well-written. I love the deep of revelation and your authenticity. It is the emotional/spiritual honesty of the work that opens it up to the world. Lovely, my friend. Blessing! ~Marissa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This poem is extremely close to me on an emotional level. I’m delighted to know that you liked it. Thank you for your readership and support. β€οΈπŸ™‚

      Like

    1. Thank you so much. I know it’s something between me and my dad, also that I’m practically like a stranger to you right now, yet my words almost teared you up… That in itself expresses the goodness of your support. Truly humbled by your kindness, thank you so much. πŸ™πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Your poems always render me speechless with their emotional beauty and truth. I read them twice and then again. I, too, had a father who gave me the greatest gift – all the love in his heart. You are blessed to have had such a giving father, and he, I am sure, felt blessed to call you his son.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The poem literally touches my heart! Many a times ,we are so busy in our lives that we forget to cherish the ones who after all have made us able to live!! And if it’s too late to realize, we are only left with the never ending regret..
    Loved your work..πŸŒŸπŸ’«πŸ’«β€

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s