They say I’m toxic & they turn away
For darkness dribbles in every word I say.
Although the tears in my eyes I try not to display
Yet fear unfurl within me in a mysterious way.
My demons smile witnessing the darkness I’ve designed,
And they say “We are two of a kind”.
They enjoy my unsettled melancholic mind
& in this thought my aching soul chooses to unwind.
We waltz under the pale moonlight that blatantly beams
Gradually they smother me with their wicked schemes.
Nightmares are born from my innocent bleeding dreams
As my demons escalate my insecurities to new extremes.
I’m left broken on the ground in a vulnerable state
As in my head I suffer, I suffocate.
But with a rebel spirit my broken self, I integrate
ferocious, furious & fearless, a fire within me I create.
Now, I’m the fire that romances with the horrors of the night
Perhaps the rhymes I write, fills your heart with delight.
But I’m the fire that burns everything, that’s in my sight
I’m the fire that carelessly rages & blazes bright.
I’m the fire that was born from a feeling of disdain
As my horrifying sanity made me insane.
So darling please don’t try to understand my pain
For I don’t want you to burn in my flame.
Witness from afar how I take my traumas in my stride
As none of my bleeding scars I hide.
For every day a new death I’ve died
But now I’m the fire, that burns its melancholy with pride.
Note: Have you ever felt closer (on an emotional level) to your demons as compared to the people around you? Well that’s the dark place my mind is right now & honestly it’s in such situations when I prefer to be alone rather than talk with people. I don’t want to hurt or burn anyone with the fury of my emotional vulnerability because I feel like the fire that rages & burns anything that’s in its course. I appreciate your support & understanding but this internal war of emotions pertaining to the poem that’s due on the 17th June is something I must fight it out on my own. Thank your for your love & support, I hope you understand that I’m not turning my back on you instead I’m addressing some of my past demons & I wouldn’t want to drag you into that emotional mess of mine. I carry this dwelling darkness of mine with pride, as I see it as an opportunity to shine & evolve. ❤
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