My Faithful Friend (Collab)

Counting down the days gone by,
Ticking off dates on a calendar page.
I lay back and breathe a sigh,
Wondering when I will leave this cage.

Amidst this madness, as my every innocent dream dies,
My faith walks on broken glass… For a thousand miles.
I contain countless burning tears in my eyes
As I hide my pain behind my fake smiles.

That’s when your calming presence I begin to see,
As you rise to be my beacon of hope amidst the dark.
You raise me up to more than I can be,
As gently you heal my bleeding heart.

As my demons evolve in dreadful metamorphic forms,
You hold my hand and become my guiding force.
Together we confront all the dark unforgiving storms,
While standing side by side, a light within me you enforce.

We stand in stark contrast,
like a rainbow in a ghastly gray sky.
Though the distance between us is vast,
I know you’ll wipe my tears if ever I cry.

Things may fall apart from pole to pole,
But I hope our bond will never end.
Your benevolent fragrance, I carry in my soul,
For you complete me… my faithful friend.

Note: A true friend sees the silent tears in your eyes that you are holding back & the pain in your smile that you hide, which others fail to understand. It’s such precious people who support us when we feel vulnerable. Through this poem Marie & me aim to capture the true essence of friendship. We aim to highlight that our personalities may be different, we may be miles apart but if the emotions & intent is genuine then it can blossom into a blissful bond. I had the great honor to work on a collaboration & witness the creative brilliance of Marie as a blogger. She often calls me Sensei Sid, but honestly she taught me a thing or two about poetry as she shared her beautiful outlook towards friendship. Please show some love & visit her blog on:

https://lalunapoetica.wordpress.com/

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Mirage (Collab)

I had the great privilege to marvel the magnificence of a splendid blogger: the girl with a puzzled mind as we brain-stormed together over this poetic collaboration. She may have puzzled mind but she can make your heart melt with delight with her magical words. Please do visit her blog on https://thegirlwithapuzzledmind.art.blog/

We’ve worked on the collab retaining our original writing styles. Her’s is a write-up, while mine are a bunch of rhymes.

Puzzles Mind’s Version

It was a silent night. In a starless sky, the moon was unusually bright. It was a night of solitude and no one was in sight. Everything was dark and still, glistening with the silver glow. In this dark silver night a restless heart was roaming amidst the whisper of the past, in an attempt to see the unseen.

In the midst of the dark agony, out of nowhere a silver mist appeared. The frail heart thumped with a flicker of hope. A hand moved forward in anticipation to look beyond. Just then the dark veil of clouds appeared and wrapped the glowing moon. All the silver light was gone and once again the darkness was born. Like some shivering mirage the silver mist vanished. The shadow of sorrow was visible again. The silence of the night was now echoed with a painful cry.

My Version:

Reminiscently I reel back the old times
When your heart seemed as pure as the winter’s first snow.
I remember how I wanted to immortalize you in my rhymes
But now you are just someone that I used to know.

There was a time when you quenched my soul’s thirst
As I fancied your love raining in the desert of my heart.
But now those memories trouble me the worst
For you abandoned me when things started to fall apart.

You turned your back on my tear-stained face
As for help, towards you, when I outstretched my hand.
That’s when you saw me as a pathetic disgrace
& the bitterness of your venomous soul I began to understand.

Perhaps angels too have their wicked schemes
For you butchered me, with your intentions like a knife.
Now entranced in a spell of my searing silent screams
I realize the worst people teach us the most valuable lessons in life.

I see the false promises that you keep
While an illusion of you burns in my eyes.
I see you lie through your teeth
& from your black magic, I now intend to rise.

Awaking from your spell I have nothing more to say
As realistically things, I begin to view.
I turn away and I’m on my way
As darling, I realize my mistake of loving a mirage-like you.

Note: “All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream” – Edgar Allan Poe. Everything is an illusion, but nothing hurts more when such act of deception comes from a loved one whom we trust the most! This collab tries to emphasize on that sentiment & is dedicated to those who have been broken in love or ever had their expectations shattered because of a mirage.

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Liebster Award

I would like to thank Yiena for considering me worthy of this award. She’s an incredible writer whose words stream like a free-flowing do check out her blog>

https://minimallyshe.wordpress.com/

Rules:
1 Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
2 Answer the questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
3 Nominate other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
4 Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
5 List the rules and display a Liebster Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Q&A

Let’s begin shall we…

Q1. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
A1. Disturbing my blogging tribe with my annoying texts. Blogging to me is more than the number of likes, comments & followers that I get. For me it’s always been about the number of lives that I’ve touched & the number of heart to heart bonds that I’ve been able to establish. I consider myself lucky with the amount of love that I’ve got & I try my best to sustain it by interacting with fellow bloggers through various social media platforms. You folks, have not only held my hand amidst my darkest nightmares, you’ve also believed in my sweetest dreams. I don’t know how or when but you have become an integral part of my life.

Q2. List two pet peeves.
A2. I’m a peace loving person but if you ever disturb my sleep intentionally or try to steal food from my plate… That’s when we are officially at war!

Q3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A3. 4 pair of shoes. No people didn’t hurl them at me because of my non-sense ( well that’s not happened to me as yet)… I got them in sale. 2 for office, 1 for working out & the other for casual wear.

Q4 If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?
A4 God would topple down from his great golden throne if a clumsy person like me was made a super-hero xD. I still remember in 3rd grade my English asked us to write an essay on the same topic, that’s perhaps the first time I had an identity crisis in my life lol. But I wrote that, I’d like to be my original self & have the power to make others smile. I still hold on to that sentiment, guess somethings never change!

Q5. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)
A5. Definitely flight, I love the feeling when the plane takes off. Besides it’s on flights when I feel happy that some pretty females (stewardess) may acknowledge my existence in some way. lol xD

Q6. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?
A6. I wish I could spent more time with my dad & did stuff to make him feel proud.

Q7. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep (and why?)
A7. 26 hours. I had my first solo trip to Bangalore to meet some of my followers. I had planned to catch a flight straight after night shift at office. My shift got extended. I rushed to the airport & as they say hurry spoils the curry… I ended up on the wrong terminal. I somehow scampered my way through to the correct terminal to catch my flight just in the nick of time. I was the last to board so got the last seat between a mother carrying a cranky infant & judgmental teenager boy (perfect ingredients for a sleepless flight). Once I reached Bangalore I turned into this wild child bemused with a sense of incorruptible curiosity. I was overwhelmed with a sense of excitement! They all said enjoy the trip but none said to live & explore in an organised way.

Q8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
A8. I don’t think any girl could tolerate my madness for too long. I don’t think I’ve had a secret admirer. If there is any, then I really hope she tones down her stealth mode. Besides… I’m a vegetarian, I wouldn’t bite you, if you say that you like me. xD

Q9 Who do you go out of your way to be nice to?
A9 I’m more of an introvert & a loner in real life, I appreciate even the smallest acts of kindness. I have this personal thumb rule, if someone is good to me, I’ll ensure that I treat them better. This mentality of mine… it doesn’t pertain to a specific individual, but instead its the intent of a person towards me that makes go above & beyond for the other person.

I’d catch a grenade for ya!

Q10 What language do you wish you could speak?
A10 I respect all cultures & feel every language has it’s own poetic beauty. If I have to choose to choose one it’s the language of love & compassion that have always captivated my imagination. It is the language that a mute man can speak, a deaf man can hear & a blind man can see. If I’m capable I hope to conquer hearts with love… Thus, overriding the cultural & linguistic barriers that otherwise may divide us.

Q11. What about the opposite sex confuses you the most?
A11. It confuses me… how women selflessly sacrifice on their own happiness, in order to secretly sustain the smiles of people around them. It confuses me… how they can be so kind & nurturing, towards a society that is mostly rather insensitive towards them. It confuses me… how they hide their darkest fears, behind a beautiful smile that can light up an entire galaxy. There might be a million mystic things about women that confuse me but that’s mainly because I’m incapable to fathom the endless greatness that a woman carries in her heart. Women are beautiful enigmas in their own right… I ascend to marvel them with utmost respect, rather be trapped in an endless spell confusion.

If you have reached this far, then you’ve earned my utmost love & respect!

My Questions:
Q1) If you could describe yourself in one sentence, what would it be? (pst… please forget your modesty for once)
Q2) In the end we all are reduced to a memory in other peoples’ minds & hearts, how do you want to be remembered? What’s the legacy you want people to associate you with?
Q3) An embarrassing memory that occasionally still makes you smile?
Q4) Whats the happiest moment of your life that you cherish the most?
Q5) What is your most favorite movie/ web-series? (It’s the weekend after all, I need some options for my entertainment)
Q6) What is that something that provides peace to you?
Q7) How are you surviving from the boredom being imprisoned in your home because of the virus outbreak?
Q8) How old is your blog & what is it’s origin story?
Q9) How do you recover yourself from a bad day?
Q10) A thought/quote you strongly live by & why?
Q11) Any areas of improvements/feedback that you may have for me as a blogger/friend/poet?

My nominees are:
1. Vanya
2. Marie
3. Kamakshi
4. Chetna
5. Jai Lynn
6. Sneha
7. Joni
8. Sonali
9. Anisha
10. Gulfcoastpoet
11. Ayesha

Apart from these nominations, my nomination is open to anyone who wishes to participate in it

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Home Alone

It was a glorious day in mid-December,
When my mother went on a vacation for a week.
Those seven days I vividly remember,
For each day I evolved as a freak.

Dear God would have leaned down from his throne,
& even the angels of heaven would have stared down.
For a careless creature had to manage the house on his own
As like a free bird his mother, flew out of town.

The wild child in me lost his sense of inhibition
& called my friends to party each night.
The delirious degree of madness that used to transition
Made my house feel like a club in Ibiza under the moonlight.

Till the fifth day, I managed things surprisingly well
Until I discovered a recipe book
The demons must have smirked down in Hell
As ultimately paneer tikkas I decided to cook.

While cooking I was calm & composed like an ice cube
Despite never boiling water in my entire life.
But courtesy the recipe book & some videos on YouTube
I sliced paneer like Gordon Ramsey with my knife.

But while cooking perhaps I overdid many spices
Because in the bathroom, my friend had to stay.
My paneer tikkas hit his intestines like some catastrophic crisis
Because suffering from diarrhea he ran to a doctor the next day.

Alone in deep thought I sat in my room
As the trash in the kitchen I forgot to discard.
While pondering on the chaos I caused, I experienced gloom,
& I failed to realize, my kitchen had turned into a junkyard.

I noticed the mess too late as I welcomed Mother with apprehension,
& sensing the impending doom, I didn’t go near.
For I witnessed her turn into Thanos in 8 dimensions,
While my heart crawled down to my bladder in sheer fear.

My mother screamed “How can you be so carelessly wild?”
“How can you even withstand the kitchen’s disgraceful view?”
Smiling sheepishly I said, “I’m careless, but I’m your child,
& perhaps that’s how unorganized I am, without you.”

Note: Don’t misunderstand me I’m rather independent. It’s good to be independent in life, but it’s also good to understand that we will always be children in the eyes of our parents no matter how old we get… I accept that I can be rather clumsy at times, but I also want to emphasize the important role my mother plays & silently ensures that I embrace an organised approach in life. Today being her birthday, I thought of writing this poem to express that if she’s not around then I’d be incomplete without her. This poem is based on a true incident.
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My Nightingale

There was a nightingale in my heart
& sometimes it out-caroled the chaos of the universe.
Whatever sufferings, within me, my fate did impart,
My nightingale soothed my aching soul with it’s symphonic verse.

My nightingale’s eyes shined like an innocent child
& it rested in my heart, as babies rest in their cribs.
But I knew my child, was tenaciously wild
& so I hid it in the cage of my ribs.

My angel of hope sang to me in the dark
As it protected me from my every shattered night.
It quelled the restless beating of my helpless heart
& calmed the war in my mind amidst my plight.

Whenever the moon would blissfully beam,
My nightingale used to look into my eyes.
It sang beautifully like verses from a poet’s dream,
& its awe-inspiring songs made my wounded soul rise.

My nightingale wanted to fly freely like the west wind
But its only sin was selflessly loving me.
For the burden of responsibilities made me blind
& my nightingale’s desire I could no longer see.

My remorse no mortal could ever understand
As I walked alone through the passage of time.
I felt as if I killed my child with my own hand
For my nightingale’s song had lost its rhyme.

Note: Remember when you were a child? How each day you had a new dream? As life moved on, as you grew older & were burdened with the weight of the expectations & responsibilities, you changed. You lost somewhere, you started ignoring your dream & your earnest desires. The nightingale in this poem is a symbol of those dreams & through the medium of this poem I want to reach out to the dreamer in you… There is no greater loss than losing yourself & there is no greater sin ignoring or killing your dreams. So live in the moment, protect your dream & if required be ready to fight for it! Sending love & positive vibes may all your dreams transmute into reality. ❤

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Worthy

Starlit scarlet shined in my teary eye
As in darkness, I fell apart.
I helplessly watched my hope die
While fear impaled the blooming dreams in my heart.

Others saw me as a delusional dreamer in the dark
& to them, I was the unwanted enigma.
They ignored my soul’s symphonic spark
So I quietly carried my social stigma.

Like a Rubik’s cube, I was a beautiful mess
& the complex algorithm of my life none could understand.
Feeling worthless I carried my stress that I couldn’t express
Until you entered my life & gently held my hand.

The autumn breeze gently perfumed the air
While under the shade of a tulip tree, one day we met.
The blossoms glided like snow, upon your jet black hair
As you said things to me, that I will never forget.

In terror, my helpless heart used to shrink
While others’ stripped my confidence from pole to pole.
Yet you told me not to care about what others think
As with your unconditional love, you healed my aching soul.

Having lost everything in life, insecurities slithered underneath my skin
But you came as a blessing from high heavens above.
By losing your heart to my rhymes you
immortalized my solitary
& I felt worthy… felt worthy of your divine love.

Note: Heard the song Creep by Radiohead? Well that’s how I felt for a long duration of my life, I’ve tried to fit-in & be accepted by people around me but I terribly failed in that… I was a cynical scoundrel (perhaps still am to some extent), but regardless of my darkness when I started this blog you embraced me with your love & understanding. I may not be able to express the true extent of love for my followers but hope understand how grateful I really am , towards you all. Through this poem I also want to express is that everyone is worthy of something special like this & those who believe in your goodness would support you even when you feel lost in your worst condition.

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I Survive…

After completing my dad’s funeral at the cremation ground
In darkness, I sat alone on a chair.
While within me this sadness floated around
I cradled my shattered thoughts, that I couldn’t repair.

Abandoned in this aporia I felt cold & dead
As dark thoughts, crumbled my composure.
There was a vicious war inside my head
While the devil smirked sitting on my shoulder.

My demons screamed “There’s a knife in your sight
Use it! For your sufferings would never heal.”
“Choose your last words, in your plight;
As an endless agony, your soul now begins to feel!”

Just when I geared up for the brutal bloodshed
I envisioned a vision of my mother pleading;
I hallucinated her helplessly holding my head
While screaming “Help my son’s wrists are bleeding!”

Although emotionally countless times I had died
Yet in that moment I chose to throw away the knife.
The marauding madness seemed invincible, but I survived
As for my loved ones I chose to embrace life.

I’m only human & I too have some fears
For some untamable nightmares still stream in my eyes.
Yet amidst life’s battle cry I hide my tears
I survive… & to protect others now I rise.

A dream for a better future I hope to harbor
As rising for my loved ones seems worthwhile.
For them, I hide my traumas underneath my armor
I survive… & conquer my demons with a smile.

Note: On 17th June 2014, in the morning my father had expired & it’s one of my most traumatic experiences of my life there were other things too that triggered me to try & commit suicide that night. This poem pertains to the traumatic events that took place that night & how I overcame that. Please don’t get me wrong I don’t want to glorify my real-life nightmare, instead, I want to share about it in an uncensored way with a sole desire to motivate other suffering souls to express about their silent battles. We all break and feel lost at various tormenting turns of life but we must rise & rediscover ourselves for the sake of people who depend on us. We all have a responsibility towards our loved ones, if not towards our own self. Lastly, please be kind & compassionate to others because none knows what battles they fight & survive on their own.


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I’m The Fire

They say I’m toxic & they turn away
For darkness dribbles in every word I say.
Although the tears in my eyes I try not to display
Yet fear unfurl within me in a mysterious way.

My demons smile witnessing the darkness I’ve designed,
And they say “We are two of a kind”.
They enjoy my unsettled melancholic mind
& in this thought my aching soul chooses to unwind.

We waltz under the pale moonlight that blatantly beams
Gradually they smother me with their wicked schemes.
Nightmares are born from my innocent bleeding dreams
As my demons escalate my insecurities to new extremes.

I’m left broken on the ground in a vulnerable state
As in my head I suffer, I suffocate.
But with a rebel spirit my broken self, I integrate
ferocious, furious & fearless, a fire within me I create.

Now, I’m the fire that romances with the horrors of the night
Perhaps the rhymes I write, fills your heart with delight.
But I’m the fire that burns everything, that’s in my sight
I’m the fire that carelessly rages & blazes bright.

I’m the fire that was born from a feeling of disdain
As my horrifying sanity made me insane.
So darling please don’t try to understand my pain
For I don’t want you to burn in my flame.

Witness from afar how I take my traumas in my stride
As none of my bleeding scars I hide.
For every day a new death I’ve died
But now I’m the fire, that burns its melancholy with pride.

Note: Have you ever felt closer (on an emotional level) to your demons as compared to the people around you? Well that’s the dark place my mind is right now & honestly it’s in such situations when I prefer to be alone rather than talk with people. I don’t want to hurt or burn anyone with the fury of my emotional vulnerability because I feel like the fire that rages & burns anything that’s in its course. I appreciate your support & understanding but this internal war of emotions pertaining to the poem that’s due on the 17th June is something I must fight it out on my own. Thank your for your love & support, I hope you understand that I’m not turning my back on you instead I’m addressing some of my past demons & I wouldn’t want to drag you into that emotional mess of mine. I carry this dwelling darkness of mine with pride, as I see it as an opportunity to shine & evolve. ❤

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She’s My Moon

Countless wars rage inside her head
As she’s destined for another sleepless night.
Yet she gently smiles even when she feels dead
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight.

She dazzles & decorates my sweetest dreams
While ignoring the pain of her plight.
On my dreams her seraphic aura streams
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight.

She’s gracefully surreal, gentle & kind
& in my darkest hour, she’s my light.
She’s my guiding force whenever in the darkness I go blind
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight
.

The light of infinite stars can’t match her luminous soul
Because her soul glows so blissfully bright.
Yet modestly, she makes me feel complete & whole
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight.

Sometimes her heart breaks as she falls on her feet
Yet she sparkles & says she’s alright.
Like a crescent, she shines even while feeling incomplete
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight.

She conquers her darkness, taking her sufferings in her stride
While she heals my scars being considerate & polite.
She’s my inspiration, she’s my pride
For she’s my moon, shining in broad daylight.

Note: This poem is inspired by a particular friend of mine who is really close to me on an emotional level but I further extend this dedication to all the wonderful women who have graced my life with their understanding & kindness. I’ve used moon as a metaphor and as a symbol for kindness, gentleness & selfless love that a woman’s heart contains within it. Like the moon, I often feel that women(while playing various roles & carrying on with their responsibilities) outshine the darkness around them with the divine light that dwells within them. So this one poem is meant to highlight this angelic trait of women & I personally want to thank all my angels of mercy for inspiring me with their blissful brilliance. It is your selfless love & understanding, which has taught me that, one can shine even when they feel incomplete. ❤

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